Overcrowded Lifestyles

Introduction

Getting a Proper Perspective on the Problem

Assessing the Damage

Seeing the Need for Balance

Coming to Terms with Scriptural Teaching

Conclusion

Introduction

Getting a Proper Perspective
on the Problem

1. Two primary reasons for our being overloaded are our materialism and our fascination with fun. See chapters on Materialism and Our Fascination with Fun.
   
   
   1. We are often guilty of spending an inordinate amount of time working, building a career, making money, etc.
      
      
   2. We are often guilty of spending an inordinate amount of time on entertainment, recreation, sports, hobbies, crafts, travel, etc.
      
      
2. We seek to diminish the seriousness of our problem with the excuse that our overcommitment is "only temporary."
   
   
   1. In the first place, the situation is often not temporary.
      
      
      1. As someone has said, there is nothing more permanent than a temporary situation.
      2. Somehow we move out of one set of exigencies into another, so that life becomes one unbroken chain of temporarily overcommitted situations.
         
         
   2. In the second place, by the time the crunch is over we are apt to have missed one or more critical windows of opportunity in our relationships that can never be gotten back.
      
      
      1. What about our children?
         1. The time in life when many of us are most busy is the time when our children are at their most formative stage.
         2. If we lose these years, we can never get them back. It will not matter that we have more time for our families later; by then it will be, for some things, too late.
      2. And what about our spouses? James C. Dobson makes this observation: "Overcommitment is the Number One Marriage Killer." James C. Dobson, Straight Talk, rev. ed. (Dallas: Word, 1991), p. 161.
         
         
   3. If we do not watch out, the "cares of this world" will choke God's word within us and cause us to be unfruitful. "Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful" (Mt. 13:22). Cf. Lk. 8:14.

      Rather than rationalize, we need to realize what we are doing with our lives.

   4. It is time for us to wake up. "And do this, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light" (Rom. 13:11,12).
      
      
3. The same thing is true with activities as with money and material things: our inability to say no strongly resembles an addiction.
   
   
   1. When it comes to doing things we want to do, we just can't say no. We are "activity junkies."
      
      
   2. We are suffering the negative effects of a culture that offers too much choice.
      
      
      1. Presented with an almost limitless variety of things that are possible for us to do, we are like a kid in a candy store.
      2. We can't make up our minds. We want "one of each." We want to "do it all."
         
         
   3. We lack self-discipline with respect to our activities and involvements. We are overindulging.

      Rather than mastering our activities, they are mastering us.

   4. We make two mistaken assumptions:
      
      
      1. We believe we have a right to do anything we want to do.
      2. We believe there is a way to do everything we want to do without any of our priorities suffering. We assume that if there is a problem, it is merely a matter of scheduling, efficiency, organization, etc.
         
         
   5. The word sacrifice is not even allowed to enter our minds when we are contemplating the things we want to do.
      
      
   6. Yet none of us gets any more than 168 hours a week. We cannot do everything that strikes our fancy. (The rare person who can is a person with a truly meager fancy.)
      
      
   7. Our culture serves up to us far more enticing possibilities than we can pursue without shortchanging some of our priorities.

      Some choices have to be made, some possibilities have to be let go.

4. We end up giving the Lord little more than our leftover time.
   
   
   1. We do with our time the very thing we know is wrong to do with our money and material possessions: we give the Lord only that for which we have no other use.
      
      
      1. "'And when you offer the blind as a sacrifice, is it not evil? Offer it then to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you favorably?' says the Lord of hosts" (Mal. 1:8).
      2. "'You also say, "Oh, what a weariness!" And you sneer at it,' says the Lord of hosts. 'And you bring the stolen, the lame, and the sick; thus you bring an offering! Should I accept this from your hand?' says the Lord" (Mal. 1:13).
         
         
   2. Indeed, we can sometimes be stingier with our schedule books than with our checkbooks!
      
      
   3. We may from time to time sacrifice the having of certain things for the Lord's work, but very few of us will let the Lord stand in the way of our doing anything we want to do.
      
      
   4. It begins to look as if the Lord gets our time only when there is absolutely zero else going on -- and, in our society, finding that time when nothing else is going on becomes harder and harder.
      
      
   5. When it is always the Lord's work that "gives" when we have a schedule conflict, that ought to be a warning signal to us that something is wrong.

      Where our priorities are, there will our energy and enthusiasm be also!

   6. How we use our time demonstrates what our practical priorities really are.

Assessing the Damage

1. We need to see our overcrowded lifestyles not just as an unpleasant problem in itself, but as a problem that has created other problems.
   
   
   1. This is a difficulty that hinders the cause of Christ by keeping us so preoccupied and distracted that God's purposes in our lives are not fulfilled.
      
      
   2. Can anyone doubt where this problem comes from? It comes from the devil. When we overcommit ourselves we give in to one of his tactics and play right into his hands.
      
      
2. Our spiritual vitality has been diminished.
   
   
   1. As a rule, a person cannot go at the pace we go at without being weakened spiritually.
      
      
   2. Without adequate time for spiritual refreshment and growth, our inner resources eventually run out -- gospel preachers included!
      
      
   3. Gary R. Collins has written, "Busyness, including busyness with religion and church activities, has been called the 'archenemy of spiritual maturity.' Busy lives have little time for reflection. Never-ending waves of activity keep us from thinking carefully about the important issues in our lives -- God, relationships, life purpose, goals, service. Busyness can destroy our relationships. It can stifle spiritual growth and keep us from becoming effective difference makers." Gary R. Collins, You Can Make a Difference (Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1992), p. 49.
      
      
   4. Not a few of us are "running on empty" right now.
      
      
      1. This is one reason so many, even among the "strongest" of the Lord's people, are falling to sexual temptation, etc.
      2. We have not taken the time that it takes to build faith, and when the big crisis comes up, we have little to draw on for strength and protection.
         
         
   5. Overcommitment is one reason so many of us are stressed out.

      Stress is when your heart says, "Don't do it; your priorities will suffer" -- but your mouth says, "Why sure, I'd be happy to!"

   6. We cannot fail to take the time for personal "maintenance" without serious consequences later on.
      
      
   7. God intends that we spend significant time studying the Scriptures, praying, and meditating on Him.
      
      
   8. No matter who we think we are, if we neglect the means that God has given for our spiritual replenishment, we will not be strong spiritually. It is as simple as that.
      
      
3. Our spiritual effectiveness has been hindered.
   
   
   1. As a result of being overcommitted, we actually end up having less commitment to what we do.
      
      
      1. Exceptions notwithstanding, it is generally true that we do a better job when we do not try to do too much. The jack-of-all-trades is usually a master of none.
      2. Our output is so great, the quality of it tends to be no better than mediocre.
      3. Often, the person who is surest to keep commitments is the one who is most careful in making them. Cf. Eccl. 5:1-7.
         
         
   2. Obviously, our personal evangelism has suffered from our not having the time to do it.

      Elders are discovering that it is nearly impossible to find any time for congregational activities and work that does not conflict with a secular activity that some of the members are involved in.

   3. Frequent and spontaneous hospitality has been a casualty of our overcrowded lifestyles.
      
      
   4. Because our schedules are so closely booked, we are often unavailable to help when "people needs" arise.
      
      
      1. Such needs for help tend to present themselves unexpectedly and at "inconvenient" times.
      2. Financially, if we operate right at the limit of what we can do, spending everything we make, then we are rarely able to help others when the opportunity comes up.
      3. The same thing is true with the budget that governs our time. If we operate right at the limit of what we can do -- if there is no space in our schedules -- we are usually not able to help others when there is a need.
         
         
   5. Our families have been adversely affected by our "busyness."
      
      
      1. Nearly all of us are too busy for the good of our families.

         Even our children are being kept so busy they cannot be children. We are turning them into little adults with miniature schedules that are as overbooked as our own.

      2. Too often, parents -- especially fathers -- are too busy to nurture their children.
         1. Someone has estimated that by the time a child is twelve years old, a father has already spent over ninety percent of the time he will ever spend with the child one-on-one.
         2. If true, this means that American fathers are simply fooling themselves if they think that after they get their careers established they will have any significant time left to spend with their children. They may have time to spend, but by then the kids will be unavailable!
         3. "A team of researchers wanted to learn how much time middle-class fathers spend playing and interacting with their small children. First, they asked a group of fathers to estimate the time spent with their one-year-old youngsters each day, and received an average reply of fifteen to twenty minutes. To verify these claims, the investigators attached microphones to the shirts of small children for the purpose of recording actual parental verbalization. The results of the study are shocking: The average amount of time spent by these middle-class fathers with their small children was thirty-seven seconds per day! Their direct interaction was limited to 2.7 encounters daily, lasting ten to fifteen seconds each! That, so it seems, represents the contribution of fatherhood for millions of America's children." James C. Dobson, Straight Talk, rev. ed. (Dallas: Word, 1991), pp. 63,64.
      3. Too often, spouses -- and especially husbands -- are too busy to nurture their mates.
      4. Perhaps men rationalize spending most of their time on their work by telling themselves that their work is important to a large number of people.
      5. Yet a man makes a poor choice if he chooses to invest himself in "humanity" rather than his family.

         It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses. -- Dag Hammarskjold

      6. Rather than trying to save the world, most men would do better to work on saving their wives and children.

Seeing the Need for Balance

1. As with very many of the daily difficulties we have, our time-related problems are often problems of balance. We pursue one or two priorities at the expense of all others, letting parts of life get out of their proper proportion to the other parts.
   
   
2. To change the metaphor, our failure is a failure of perspective. We do not accurately "see" how one set of activities is really related to the others. We can be tragically myopic, or shortsighted, when it comes to what is important in the use of our time.
   
   
   1. Whether we like it or not, life has always involved a number of different concerns. The complexity of modern life should not blind us to the fact that human beings have always had more than one kind of business to take care of.
      
      
      1. Nearly anybody can juggle one ball! It represents no great feat for a person to excel at a single pursuit -- one, such as a man's career, that he is obsessed with and spends virtually all of his time on.
      2. In real life, however, we do not have the luxury of tending to just one or two concerns; there are a variety of things that have to be taken care of.
      3. When we overcommit ourselves in one or two areas of life -- however interested in them (and even good at them) we may be -- the result is that other important things are bound to suffer.
      4. The Prodigal Son "wasted his possessions" (Lk. 15:13). He recklessly spent everything he had on the pursuit of pleasure, with apparent disregard for any other need, no matter how important.

         The essence of prodigality (whether in the spending of money or time) is that it spends with reckless disregard for other priorities.

      5. Whatever else it is that we think we have to do, we cannot forget about things like rest, spiritual nourishment and family relationships.
         
         
   2. Our goals should be related well to our roles; and we simply cannot afford to focus so exclusively on some of our roles that others go unattended to. See Steven R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1989); Steven R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, and Rebecca R. Merrill, First Things First (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1994); and Richard N. Bolles, The Three Boxes of Life and How to Get Out of Them (Berkeley: Ten Speed Press, 1978).
      
      
      1. We have little to be pleased with if we become very busy, highly developed, and extremely effective in one or two of our roles -- and become totally inactive and dysfunctional in the others the Lord has given us.
      2. Often, Jesus' exhortation to us would likely be something similar to what He said to the Pharisees about the weightier matters of the law: "These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone" (Mt. 23:23).
      3. It is not an all-or-nothing question; it is a question of balance.

         If we have to admit we have been overcommitting ourselves in certain areas of life, the answer is not necessarily to totally abandon those concerns. Very often it is to pull them back into balance with the rest of life.

3. Becoming practiced at the art of personal management is what it is going to take to get control of our commitments.
   
   
   1. We are stewards of the time entrusted to us.
      
      
   2. Time, no less than money, has to be managed well to achieve worthwhile spiritual ends.
      
      
   3. No more than 168 hours a week is available to any of us. The challenge is to make a wise allocation of the time resources that we have.
      
      
   4. We need to grasp the concept of "redeeming the time, because the days are evil" (Eph. 5:16).
      
      
      1. Paul urged the importance of a cautious, deliberate approach to daily living: "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise" (Eph. 5:15).
      2. Misusing our time is simply the kind of thing that happens we when fail to look at life seriously and make conscious choices about personal management.

         The unexamined life is not worth living. -- Socrates

   5. Years ago Charles E. Hummel wrote a little booklet on time management for Christians called Tyranny of the Urgent. We do need to learn to distinguish between the important and the urgent, and to spend more time on the important. See Charles E. Hummel, Tyranny of the Urgent, rev. ed. (Grand Rapids: Meridian, 1991).
      
      
   6. Before it is too late, we need to get control of our schedules, our activities, our involvements.
      
      
      1. We need to learn the ability to say no to anything that would upset the balance of our priorities. We need to be slower to make promises about what we will do, more careful about entering into commitments that involve the expenditure of our time.
      2. We need to learn to submit our schedules to the Lord for His approval, just as we seek His approval for everything else that pertains to us.
      3. "And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him" (Col. 3:17).
         
         
   7. Much of what we choose to think is necessary is really not all that necessary.
      
      
      1. Most of us could simplify our lives considerably with no loss of quality.
      2. Things like unexpected hospital confinements prove that the world continues to move along fairly well even when we are unable to do all the things we thought we "had" to do.
         
         
   8. We need to learn to focus our energies and enthusiasm. Energy is almost always more productive when it is concentrated rather than randomly dispersed.
      
      
   9. We need to learn to budget our time, and that means imposing some limits on how much time we spend on certain things.
      
      
   10. Our priorities have to be protected from encroachment.
       
       
4. We must learn to build adequate "margin" into our lives. See Richard A. Swenson, Margin: How to Create the Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves You Need (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 1992).

Coming to Terms
with Scriptural Teaching

1. The example of the Lord Himself is instructive.
   
   
   1. Few of us will ever come close to being as busy as the Lord.
      
      
   2. But He never once let His priorities get out of balance; He never became so preoccupied with any set of concerns that He forgot about the others.
      
      
   3. Most noticeably, the Lord managed His time so as to spend needed hours in communion with His Father in heaven.
      
      
      1. "Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed" (Mk. 1:35).
      2. "So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed" (Lk. 5:16).
      3. "Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God" (Lk. 6:12).
         
         
2. In Paul's instructions to the younger Timothy, it is no coincidence that things like meditation were linked to the making of progress spiritually. "Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all" (1 Tim. 4:15).
   
   
3. From a scriptural standpoint, the ideal life for the Christian would be the "quiet and peaceable life" (1 Tim. 2:2).
   
   
   1. "That you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you" (1 Thess. 4:11).
      
      
   2. "Now those who are such we command and exhort through our Lord Jesus Christ that they work in quietness and eat their own bread" (2 Thess. 3:12).
      
      
   3. Quietness of lifestyle does not demand absolute inactivity, any more than quietness of spirit demands absolute silence (cf. 1 Pt. 3:4).
      
      
   4. Even so, the word "quiet" is not meaningless. At the very least it suggests a way of life that is different from the way most of us are living right now.

      It would be a step in the right direction for most of us even to admit that the person who aspires to a simple, quiet life aspires to something honorable and wise.

4. Jesus' blessing upon the "pure in heart" (Mt. 5:8) is an expression of His desire not only that we be clean and innocent in our thinking, but that our hearts be free of any distracting concerns, however good in themselves, that would compete with our affection for Him.
   
   
   1. The opposite of "pure in heart" is "doubleminded." "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you doubleminded" (Jas. 4:8).
      
      
   2. We would often do well to emulate Paul's ability to focus on "one thing." "Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:13,14).

Conclusion

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